The Most Powerful WMD – The Pum Pum

I don’t understand all of this talk on CNN about the Senate agreeing to discuss the START treaty between the US and Russia. Nuclear weapons are so…..1980’s! And they cost billions upon billions of dollars. My advice to Congress and the Senate – save your money and invest in some very good looking women who know how to work their charms. That’s right; the most powerful weapon of mass destruction in the world today is the Pum Pum!

Nothing else in this world today is so efficient and effective in driving men absolutely crazy and making them lose their faculties. Don‘t believe me? Look around and you certainly don’t have to look far to see examples of men who did absolutely stupid things all because they were hypnotized and controlled by a Pum Pum. Since Cleopatra, cunning woman have discovered they possess the ability to get whatever they want simply by spreading their legs and allowing their Pum Pum to do the rest.

Still not convinced? Let’s discuss the interesting case of Thomas J. Capano. Mr. Capano was from a wealthy and prominent Delaware family. He was a successful lawyer, state prosecutor and legal counsel to Gov. Michael Castle. He had everything going for him – successful career, the right family connections, a loving wife and four daughters. Then he met 28 year old Anne Marie Fahey. And the Pum Pum took over his brain. When Ms. Fahey tried to end their 2 year old affair, he shot her, put her body in a cooler and dumped it 62 miles out into the Atlantic Ocean. He was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to death. His death penalty was later commuted to life in prison. What would possess a man to screw up his entire life, destroy his family and murder a poor woman who happened to get involved with the wrong man? It’s the Pum Pum, trust me!

Then there’s the case of King Edward VIII. This idiot gave up the throne to marry an older (and not too attractive) American divorcee by the name of Wallis Simpson. Why? Pum Pum! That and the fact he wasn’t too bright to begin with.

Then there’s the recent case of the three teenage boys in an island off New Zealand who were rescued after drifting 50 days at sea. Why were they at sea? Pum Pum! One of the boys noticed a girl who caught his eye at a track meet on his island. The only problem was she lived on a neighboring island that was about 200 miles away. And so what did the genius do? He and two friends jumped on a 12 foot metal dinghy to sail away in search off….that’s right…..Pum Pum!

So you’re still not convinced? Well it’s no secret that many intelligence agencies will use sexual entrapment to gain access to classified materials. They use ‘Honeytraps’ where a high ranking diplomat is seduced by a beautiful member of the Pum Pum Brigade, and then blackmailed into handing over secrets. This is why many countries have rules against their diplomats and intelligence officers entering into a sexual relationship with a citizen of the country they are serving in. The KGB had some success with honeytraps by using women who were called ‘Swallows’. Talk about a name suiting the situation perfectly. But I digress. Remember Clayton Lonetree? He was a member of the elite US Marine guard at the US Embassy in Moscow in the 80’s. He was entrapped by a swallow and ended up handing over sensitive material regarding undercover assets in Russia. He served nine years in prison.

Still not convinced? Why is it that many men will abandon their wife and kids for another woman? They love their kids and yet another woman comes along, they are quickly possessed and controlled by the Pum Pum and the next thing you know they can’t even remember their kids’ names. It’s been said that the most important person in a man’s life is the woman he’s having sex with. Everything else becomes secondary.

Good looking women know they run things. They get away with things that ugly women cannot get away with. And in my experience, good looking women are often some of the worst employees. I remember I once hired a very good looking girl to work as a CSR in a call centre. I knew she most likely wouldn’t last long because good looking women tend to have very short stints in call centres. After a few days of taking abusive phone calls they ask themselves ‘Why the hell am I doing this? I’m good looking damnit! It’s time to entrap some sugar daddy with my pum pum’! Needless to say, against my better judgment I hired her. After all, if I’m going to manage a bunch of miserable people I might as well have some eye candy. Sure enough after about a week and a half of subpar work, she simply disappeared. No phone call, letter of resignation or anything. About a month later some of my staff noticed her in a music video with Will Smith. Then DMX. And then a million other music videos. I can’t say I was surprised. She realized she had something that could get her a better career than working in a call centre – she could be a rap video star.

So……….my advice to Congress and the Senate – forget START. Save your money on defense spending and hire an elite unit of really good looking women. Send one to North Korea, one to Iran, one to China and one to Russia to seduce their leaders. Then sit back and enjoy world domination. That’s the power of the Pum Pum – the most powerful WMD of all!!!